The other day I let myself be pulled into a debate. Thankfully, no one was hurt, which isn't always the case in debates I've been involved in. A lot of time the wounds have been my fault, a lot of times it's been the other participants fault. As a result, I really try to steer clear of debating unless I know my relationship with the other person is strong enough to overcome offense at differing, strong opinions. It's a lesson I've learned after years of licking my own wounds and patching up the wounds of others, at least when they let me.
And while I believe the debate was ultimately somewhat fruitful for both of us (including giving me inspiration for what I think is a decent blog), there came a point where it just kept going, for no other reason than we both kept trying to change the one another's mind and so just kept repeating ourselves in different forms. When debates get to that point it's time to run away. A good debate presents both sides and then the parties say, "ok, I've heard you. I'm open to looking into it," or, "I still disagree, but I see why you think that." A bad debate goes on forever because one side is trying to win. Listen, even if you "win" the debate, very few people will change their mind in the heat of the moment. Like, 1% of people. So present your opinion, your ideas, and get the heck out of there!
Anyways, I say this because it seems like everywhere I look my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ are simply debating everyone. They're debating each other, they're debating others, they're debating thin air hoping someone will join in (if you've been on Facebook in the last minute, you know what I'm talking about!).
I mean, really?
Is this what disciples of Jesus are supposed to look like?
Is this what the children of God have been reduced to? Talking heads?
I write this as someone who is just as guilty as anyone else. I used to love the opportunity to tell people why they were wrong. I really did, and sometimes that ugly side of me still wants to showcase itself. Don't misunderstand me, it's a strength of mine to teach and the desire to share truth is actually a very good thing, but what's not good is using those strengths in a way that is not beneficial to others.
Unfortunately most of us don't have that filter on.
Instead we're bickering over our disagreements instead of finding ways to unify.
Instead we're judging the world instead of loving it.
It's time to stop telling the world why it's wrong and start simply showing them why we have the better way.
The western church (and yes, that means you too America!) has become a church of more talking and less doing. We were never meant to spend our days in debate and judgment. We were meant for more.
Today I sat down to read the Bible, and while I was praying I heard clearly "Ephesians." I felt like I was supposed to read the entire book (it's only 6 chapters so it's not some great feat). I wasn't sure why but I followed the prompting. When I came to chapter 4 things started to really stick out to me. Right away in chapter 4 verse 1 Paul writes, As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received.
Ephesians is a letter of guidance and encouragement for mature Christians. It's the only letter Paul writes where he's not addressing specific problems in a church. Why? Because the Ephesian church gets it. They're not having doctrinal or heresy issues. They believe the gospel 100%. So Paul isn't doing any fixing here, he is guiding them to the next level.
I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. Christians, we are the ones called. He's talking to us. He goes on,
v. 2 Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.How many times have we failed this? Completely humble and gentle? Yikes. It's a good thing Paul didn't have social media. Instead of being patient with others in life, we've gotten too busy trying to convince them to change immediately. You know what will eventually bring them to truth? Bearing with them in love. Coming alongside them and loving them until they stop and think, "how could someone love me so much without selfish motive?" Jesus, and only Jesus. If we did as Paul wrote they couldn't ignore Jesus if they wanted to.
v. 3 Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.
Christians, we need to stop bickering about petty differences and instead embrace the fact that we are all family as God's children despite our disagreements! Not only are we to embrace it, but we are to FIGHT for that unity! I have heard people say so many times, "You Christians can't even love each other." What a slap in the face to our Lord, who prayed right before He was led to death that we all would be in unity. If you have let Jesus become your savior you are a Christian, even if you don't take communion every week or you like drums in worship. Get over it people! We need to come back together!
v. 29. Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building up others according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
Somewhere along the road the western Church decided that the only way to make followers of Jesus was to break people down into submission by making them feel terrible about themselves. This is the EXACT opposite of what the Bible says to do! We are to tame our tongues and use our words to love and encourage others. We are to hate gossip. We are to hate anything that destroys a person's confidence or self-worth. We are to be the most inspiring, encouraging, loving people in the world, and much of that happens through our speech.
v. 31. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every kind of malice.
How many of us have fallen into the trap of letting our words and actions be carried out because we are angry? I have done it far too much. Staying in anger is one of the biggest doorways to sin. That's why in this same chapter Paul says, In your anger do not sin. If a person is perpetually angry they will fall into sin. Christians, far too many of us have been living in anger because we have been hurt by the world or by our own. It's time to overcome that bitterness and re-enter peace.
v. 32. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
Just as Christ forgave you, and me, and anyone who has come before Him ready to repent. We are so quick to forget our lives before we received His love and salvation. We are so quick to judge those who have not yet experienced it. We are so quick to forget what it was like the first time we realized we were loved. If only we would remember, we would stop wasting so much time judging others. We would stop wasting so much time holding onto offense. Jesus forgave us, even though we were unforgivable. What gives us the right to not extend the same love to others? The same unearned gift? This is part of our CALLING. If you said yes to Jesus, you are CALLED to forgive.
Brothers and sisters, we have been missing the mark. All of us, definitely myself included. This petty infighting, this bickering with the outside world, this slander of our leaders when we disagree, it all needs to stop. We are meant to love the world even though it is often unlovable. We are called to love those who don't know Jesus because that's what HE would do. Why are we wasting so much time casting judgment on a world that is already dead? We are to be showing the world what life is so that they will want it.
We are meant to take the higher path, the one of love. Our ways should not look like the world's. Each of us should be the most gracious, safest place any person could ever turn. Christian means "little Christ." Not one person was ever meant to see a Christian as a person of judgment or hate. Not one person was ever meant to see a Christian as bitter. We, Christians, are meant to be reflections of Christ. We are meant to spread good news of salvation and love. We are meant to live in joy and peace, and in UNITY! When someone is hurting, no matter what it is, we are to bear with them and come alongside them, not lecture them about how small their problem is.
If we want the world to listen to us, we must first love it back into relationship with us. It's time for us to be something better than what the world expects us to be. It's time for us to embrace the "more" that we are called to be.
It's time for us to remember how wretched, how lost, how hopeless, and how dirty we were before Jesus came into our lives and redeemed us. It's time for us to start looking at others the way Jesus looked at us. It's time for us to show the world that we are different because He first loved us, and that love changed us forever.
We were meant for more, and the world needs us to realize it.
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