You're Worth It

I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up

God knows we're worth it
    - Jason Mraz


I don't deserve the love of God. I really don't deserve any good thing. Which one of us does? I often feel like I do, but what a joke that is. What a dishonest feeling. We have all done so many horrible things to ourselves, to one another, we really don't deserve anything.

Even the best of us, those who probably have done more good than bad in the world, don't deserve a thing. It doesn't matter how you look at it. If you believe in God, then you don't deserve anything because your life is not your own. The very first sin in your life disqualified you from deserving anything, and which one of us has only sinned once anyways? If you don't believe in God, then you don't deserve anything either. How could someone who's life is a cosmic accident deserve anything? What a foolish notion that is.

What a funny word, deserve. Such a word of entitlement. How can we be entitled to anything? The best any of us could be is someone who truly only lives to improve the lives of others. That person, that perfect person who doesn't exist 100% of the time anywhere, might deserve something, but they wouldn't accept it anyways. They certainly would never feel entitled or "deserving."

Just the thought of deserving something means we don't deserve it. What a paradox.

Yet anyone who claims they've never felt they deserve something is a liar. I certainly would be. I feel it more often than I care for anyone to know.

Where does that come from? Who am I to dare think I deserve something?

In order to feel you deserve something, you have to believe you're worth something. You have to believe you and what you have to offer in life are valuable.

This is where it gets even crazier. How could we be worth anything? If there is a God and we are sinners against Him, there's no logical way we can have value. If there isn't a God and we are just here, we have even LESS worth. There is no meaning to our life and therefore no value to it.

But somehow we just know we are worth something. How is this possible?

There's only one truly possible answer; because God says we are.

We are worth something to God, and somehow we know it. Even the person who has chosen to turn his back on God and hate Him knows deep inside that he is worth something. Which of course, shouldn't make sense to this person. Because without God, you can't have a sense of value.

God says we're worth something, then He proved it by sacrificing the ultimate sacrifice. He entered a world full of sin, suffering,pain and torment and died just to have relationship with us again. He did this instead of wiping us all out and starting over. We didn't deserve it, we still don't, but we were worth it to Him.

He won't give up on us. Never. He hasn't given up on me, and I can't see why. I've sung praises to Him on Sunday morning and been drunk partying just hours later. There are very few sins I haven't committed at one time or another in my life. I've lied and I've cheated. I've manipulated people for my own purposes. I've felt entitled to a lot in my life and been ticked when I didn't get it.

And despite all this foul behavior, God still says I'm worth something. I'm worth something so dear to Him that He won't give up on me.

For a long time I've been trying to understand the love of God. For a long time I've been trying to decipher somehow how to explain it intellectually. I'm not alone. Much of the western church is doing the same thing.

But there is no explaining it. There is only experiencing it. As simple as that sounds it's not easy, because we make it hard. I've been a self-proclaimed Christian for most of my life, and I'm only just starting to understand this. Why? Because I, like so many others, keep making it hard on myself.

But He's not giving up on me.

My most amazing experiences with God are when I just shut up, get alone, and let Him take over. It's there where He speaks to me, it's there where I can physically feel Him. It's there where all my worries, all my fears, all my disappointments just fade away. It's there where I understand what peace, faith, and true love really are.

And somehow five minutes later I can go back to those things. But I'm learning that it's ok when I make that mistake. It's ok because I'm worth it, it's ok because He's never giving up on me.

I don't deserve it, but it's true. You don't deserve it either, but it's true.

I don't know about you, but that is a really freeing thought. I remember when I was entering my senior year of high school. My mom sat me down one night and said, "Paul, we trust you. You aren't going to have a curfew all year. Just be safe."

When she told me that, when she gave me that freedom, suddenly I didn't want to push any boundaries. I didn't want to fight for more. I had been given a great gift (just ask any 17 year old!), and I wanted to take care of it. I didn't deserve it. Just the year before I had been busted for partying and being in a car with a drunk driver who drove us into a river. Yeah, I definitely shouldn't have been trusted.

But they trusted me anyways. And because they did, I took ownership and didn't do anything all year to break their trust.

If only the church would realize that God has done the same thing with us. He's told us what is valuable to Him. He's explained to us what sin is. He's explained to us the consequences. But when we say yes to Jesus, He turns right back to us and says,

"Ok, you are in my house now. You are my beloved child. You can have as much relationship with me as you want. I've told you what is good for you and what isn't. I've told you how to please me. Now here's the keys. By the way, there's no curfew. And if you screw up, I'll still love you. I'll never give up on you, and together, we'll get there. How long it takes you is your decision, but I'm not going anywhere."

He doesn't give us a list of rules. He doesn't give us a list of "do this or else!" He gives us permission to grow. He gives us the ability to choose. We can keep choosing to sin and He won't love us any less. Yeah, we're definitely going to have to deal with the consequences of our choices, but Jesus isn't sitting there shaking His head at us. When we wreck the car of our lives and go to Him with our heads down, He runs to us and hugs us. He brings us home and invites us to rest with Him and get our wounds healed. He tells us that we probably won't get to drive for a while, but He isn't concerned about keeping things from us. He's concerned about getting us better prepared for the next one.

Why?

Because we're worth it. Because He won't give up on us.

If I could tell the people of the world one thing it'd be this: You are so loved. You are so amazing. God isn't mad at you. He's sitting at home thinking about you, waiting for you to come spend time with Him. No matter what you've done it's not enough. He's not planning how to punish you. He's not upset you haven't called. He's just eager to show you a better way. A better way that starts with never being alone again, because as long as you want Him around He'll be there with you. He's not going to track you down if you don't want Him to, but He'll come flying if you cry out in need for Him. He's the best Father you could ever hope for. We don't deserve Him, but it doesn't matter.

Because we're worth it. Because He won't give up on us.

Wow.