What do we have inside us that we have drowned out or ignored for some time?
A few months ago my wife pushed me to teach a class at our local homeschool co-op. For those who don't know (normal people, I'd gather... just kidding), a homeschool co-op is where the parents of local homeschooled children get together to teach classes. Some co-ops are more focused on strict academics, some are more open to elective-style classes to broaden the kids horizons. The idea is that a parent who is gifted at teaching math, or spanish, or sign-language can have the opportunity of teaching other kids whose parents might not be as good at teaching that subject. It's a pretty cool deal, actually.
The co-op we are a part of is the more elective-style kind of co-op. And one thing it always needs is teachers. My wife, who apparently believes in me very much (love you babe!), really wanted me to fill one of those needs this last semester. Now I like to teach things but I was still apprehensive. I couldn't think of anything I'd want to teach teenagers that would take 9 weeks. So I offered her a "maybe, I'll think about it" and figured it would go away.
A couple months went by and I figured I was safe, until one day my wife announces "by the way, you need to submit the class you are going to teach. They need to know in order to post it." Apparently when I had said "maybe" my wife had heard "I'm in!". So now, on the spot, I was forced to come up with a class.
Digging deep, I decided to teach the kids about something I had been interested in for a long time: film. When I was a teen I had developed a deep love for the movies. For a while my love was borderline obsessive. To the point where I got my first job at a movie theater (free movies!) and later worked for two years as a film critic. I really, REALLY love movies. I love the adventures they take me on, the laughs they give me, the emotions they make me feel, the characters they get me to care for, and the ideas they make me think about.
The nice thing about loving something so much is that you tend to learn about it, and I started to get really excited about learning more and teaching the kids as I did so. Also, it now gave me an excuse to watch more movies too (bonus!). The first class came and went, and I took to it like a fly to... well, you know. It was really a lot of fun and the 9 weeks flashed by.
But something else happened during that period of teaching the class. Something in me came back to life. It's an almost impossible feeling to describe, but sometimes there is something in us that we have kind of "moved on" from. While I never had stopped enjoying movies, I had subdued that love for a long time. In trying to be more responsible and grown up I had, rightly so, cut back on my time spent on my beloved hobby. But I also, wrongly so, suffocated the passion for it. In that I had turned my back on things I loved which were connected to that hobby. Things like spreading the appreciation of the art form and even making some of my own videos. In short, in trying to healthily cutback I unhealthily also almost killed off one of my productive passions. Something that made me come alive.
As I was spending some quiet time with God one day in the middle of the semester I was asking Him, "what do you want from me? What do you want me to do?" In my search for direction I heard as clear as day "Be the best YOU that you can be." As He said that I was taken back to memories of myself as a young twenty-something. The time when I was really pursuing things that made me come alive. I was a lot more foolish back then, but I was also more fearless and passionate. As I was seeing this I felt a stirring inside me. I knew that God was showing me something I had left behind and that He was giving me permission to bring it back. To take all the things I have grown in and matured in, but to learn to still be that passionate, fearless youth.
Looking back now I know exactly why God brought that class to me. He knew it would lead me to rediscover an old passion. He knew that it would bring back to life a part of me that I hadn't let fully live in a long time.
"Take delight in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart." - Psalm 37:4
Religion wants us to believe that all desires are bad, but God knows that as we pursue Him our desires get purified. We learn how to pursue them through the lens of holiness. When we give them to Him He loves to give them back. Things I love that would be considered "secular" are things that God is showing me He loves about me. He loves that I love film. He loves that I love sports. There are things that those and others bring out of me that He has designed. When I am most alive I am also doing the most for the Kingdom. There is something in loving films that makes me a better version of myself. I don't know what it is, but He does.
"Be the best YOU, you can be."
This is not about finding all the areas we are falling short in and correcting them. This is about discovering what God has put in us that makes us come alive. Religion wants us to focus on the negative, and as a result we get stuck. God wants to open us up to the beautiful things in us. To the passions and dreams He placed in us. The things that make you YOU. You are not your failures or your sins, you are the GOOD creation God has made you. You are His child. It is only by making that aspect of ourselves our focus that we can grow in influence and excellence and overcome our weaknesses.
God made us all different for a reason. We are all different parts of the same body. We all have something unique to contribute, but we cannot give the most if we are not living our fullest. What is it that you love? That makes you come alive? What makes you dream? What fills your passion? God is re-awakening those things within us. He wants a church of excellence, a church of influence and passion. For too long most of us have been trying to become what the world, what religion has tried to tell us to be. But deep inside, we know what really inspires us, what really makes us come alive.
I'm still figuring out what that looks like for me. But every day I'm coming a little bit more alive. Every day I'm finding more peace and joy in who I am because of Him. Every day I'm learning more how good He is, and how much He loves me and is pleased with me. That pleasure only grows as I go on the journey with Him of finding who I really am. He is teaching me how to be more alive.
You have permission, now go do it.
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